all about me

i know its been a while since i wrote anything here..minda rasa nk menulis but jari jemari ni menghalang dr berlaku....as always a lot have happen...most of it the ruining my life time of thingy.. i need a break from all this...nk gie jauh2 dr semua bende n semua org..1 hari nnt akn ku lakukn jua tgk la...

ive got all sort of mental abuse from my family bukn nk buruk kn family sendiri but mmg dh tk thn lagi..duk kt umah mcm duk dlm kawasan larangan...4 the time being mmg tk mampu nk duk tmpt lain..but aku berdoa untuk di beri rezeki lebih bg memampukn diri ku untuk melangkah kuar..nk citer pnjng2 tkmampu cos its a black episode dlm diary hidup soo biar la ia terkubur dlm sudut yg jauh2 dr hati...minda n bdn tk sama naik smpi time kt keje slalu nya rasa letih jerk...tah la tktau nk explain mcmane...rasa down yg amat..ssh nk citer kt org kite yg merasa jerk phm.....

di tambah kn dgn love life yg agak bengong tktau la maybe thats the rite word 4 it...kejap on kejap off..bila dh on gatal nk off bila dh of gatal nk on...pening bgt...bahana diri sendiri...im not complaining i know its my own fault...i tk minta pun bantu siapa2 dlm bab ni cos i think im strong enough to do anything kn...cos tats whut i want people to think senang...if dieorg tau kite lemah ssh akn lebih di pandang rendah...

im really at the lowest point of my life...nk gie mana tktau..nk wat ape tktau...i just idup mcm robot pegi keje balik keje tdo esk pg gie keje balik...rutin harian..until Saturday came terus blank..duk umah mcm tk kena...kuar pun serba tk kena ahaks...kdg2 rasa nk bunuh diri..but bila pk bunuh diri tmbh2 doa buat ape kn...tah ape la yg aku merapukn ni kn..harap2 lepas ni korg dpt nmpk aku yg lebih kuat yg mampu nk buat keputusan yg terbaik tuk diri sendiri..

*in order to get whut u want u have to be selfish*